Claudia Rivas, a psychologist, told me some time ago that when the National School of Technical Directors (ENDIT) was established for her sports psychology class, she lacked a lot of recent information. Consulting a magazine from Italy, they interviewed the country's top talent scout. They asked him what the secret was for young people to succeed. He replied, "THEY MUST BE ORPHANS."
I promise you that I never read that Italian quote, but I always pointed out, from my time in soccer, the damage that parents do to their children, and I always said the same thing: they had to be orphans. The first ones with overprotection and the second ones with the free pass to justify themselves. This problem is not only in professional soccer. It comes from when players in their elementary or even younger teams have their parents shouting at them the movements and plays they have to make, at best, because if at some point their child is substituted or is on the bench, then the parents take on the role of bodyguards ready to do anything against the coach.
Of course, I was one of those parents. I was fortunate that my son, at the age of 22, told me that he couldn't go on and that he would focus on his studies instead. It was certainly a disappointment for me, but in the end, he finished his degree, his master's, and now he works in what he loves the most: soccer. Throughout my career as a coach and professional trainer, I had toxic relationships with the parent-child combination. I have many examples and names, but the common denominator was always overprotection towards the young player, leading to threats, corruption, convenience-based friendships that only resulted in the disruption of their child's learning.
Just as an example, I didn't know the parents of Cherokee, Orlando, or Salinas at the time, I never knew who they were, and in the end, thanks to their effort and, I like to think, the support they received at home, not in the game or in training, they excelled in their profession. Those of us who are dedicated to scouting or bringing forth new players in an honest and selfless way don't eat fire. Thinking that 'X' player did not stand out or did not receive an opportunity because they were darker-skinned, or because they were fair-skinned, or because they didn't have money to pay the current coach limits the personal life and overall growth of the young player.
But be careful, very careful, there have always been and always will be bad cases or examples. I only write about my thoughts and my behavior. Chicharito, Pelaez, Chaco Giménez, Abella, Layun, and many others are fair-skinned and come from wealthy families, and in the end, their education and effort allowed them to excel in the First Division. I understand that being a soccer player is a dream, but I also understand that there are very few possibilities or few places for the large number of young people living in this country. So, why not consider another field that also belongs to or is required in soccer, such as being a coach, trainer, doctor, rehabilitator, marketing personnel, sports lawyers, licensed agents, journalists, and many more that would give you the opportunity to belong to the industry.
"Throughout my life, when a parent approaches me, I tell them the same thing: your child can excel if they first distance themselves from you." José Luis Sánchez Solá
Throughout my life, when a parent approaches me, I tell them the same thing: your child can excel if they first distance themselves from you, dad. In case the opposite happens, you have to help them find a place in many universities in Mexico or in the 525 scholarship programs available in the United States so that they can continue playing soccer and earn a college degree. All this thanks to their ability to kick a ball. At best, their professional career will be short, but they will have the college degree for their entire life, and then, with that degree, thanks to soccer, they can venture into all the branches that open up every day in the business of kicks.
No parent wants to feed their children rats or snakes. That's what the Bible says. But when I see or read about the mismanagement parents do for their children, I doubt what the sacred book says.